- I’ll be happy once I get that promotion.
- I’ll be happy once I get that raise.
- I’ll be happy once I lose 15 pounds.
But the research shows that isn’t true. You achieve a goal and you’re briefly happier… but then you’re looking toward the next big thing.
Follow these steps:
- You are not your thoughts. Sometimes they're downright ridiculous. Just because you think it, doesn't make it true.
- Observe, don't judge. Acknowledge the thoughts, but let them float by. Don't wrestle with them.
- Don't distract, immerse. Take in the world around you. Turn to your senses. That's real. Your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself about the world aren't.
- Note or label intrusive thoughts. Yeah, the thoughts fight back. Acknowledge them. Give the intrusive ones a funny name.
- Return to the senses. Really pay attention to the world around you.
And when I say to pay more attention to the world around you, that doesn't just mean things. It's also people.
The people who survive stress the best are the ones who actually increase their social investments in the middle of stress, which is the opposite of what most of us do.
Send a gratitude email right now. It only takes 2 minutes. And send another one tomorrow.
That habit will make you happier. And being happier will make you more successful and deepen your relationships.
Happiness. Success. Strong relationships. What else really matters?